JUST BEGIN

I need to commit myself to improving my mind.

Average production.

Limitations & Blind spots.

I don’t know if I’m scared to commit to one industry, problem, or cause or if I just don’t know where to commit to. I don’t know. If one doesn’t know, how do they find it?

^ Purpose.

I’m missing a key element of the fire. If I wasn’t I’d act differently. I’d pursue life differently and have greater clarity of where I am, what I’m doing, and my fulfillment doing it.

I don’t know. It’s a normal longing among humans…

I know that.

I don’t know.

Poker has started great!

My knowledge and skills converge into dealing poker well.

I’m doing very good and I’m going to continue to be improve.

It’s a good career. Right now I’m part-time so I’m super flexible with my time.

There’s more… somewhere.

And I think it can be found in my operations day-to-day.

How I use my time. It's a good challenge.

It forces you to order and structure your life. Otherwise, time will dissolve like a handful of sand.

I love the way the gym makes me feel when I get a work out in. It’s not my north star but it’s a piece of the puzzle. Sometimes you don’t know the path but the best way to find it is start down paths that could turn into a positive, or multiple positive, paths in the future. Create options.

When it comes to my interests, I’m actually not that smart and a struggle that’s not really a struggle probably just better articulated into a simple little hurdle to jump over is focusing too much on the quality of my blog instead of just writing what’s on my mind. I’m much more comfortable with progress in the gym because I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. I know that in the gym the biggest thing is to just begin and then keep going.

Like Barney says in How I Met Your Mother, the steps to running a marathon is to

Number 1: start running

.....

There is no number 2.

You just run and stop when you finish.

He's right. Sure the devil's in the details, but that's actually just it.

You don’t need to put in 100% every day because the consistency and sustainability of 70% every day will get sure and potentially greater results. That can be inaccurate and seen as a logical fallacy but to me the most important thing to do is enjoy at a fundamental level my day-to-day life and be consistent while sticking to the gameplan.

There are little tasks every day and struggles that come along with them and bigger problems but a blend of optimizing for fulfillment and accomplishment is the way I try to go about things.

My original point was going to say I need more mental development. Intellectually, I think emotionally, spiritually, it’s truly an uphill journey but I need to get comfortable with the steps and actually start taking those steps before I can see meaningful reward. To me it’s easier to focus on material gain or physical progress because it’s something measurable and visible. I’ve made growth mentally but to level up I need to put effort in and redefine these little mental hurdles. There are different ways to go about different problems and you don’t just run through hurdles — you jump. It’s not profound in any way, you just don’t stare or run through, you jump. With some problems you do run, you do just observe and let go, but those are different problems. Sometimes you have to jump.

I think I need to reexamine my lens of the world to see clearly. It doesn’t matter the objective quality of a pair of glasses if the prescription is wrong in the first place. It’s subjective. The perfect pair of glasses to one person is the same as one that doesn’t work for another. It’s the same with diet and a gym routine.

 Of course it’s different mentally.

It’s scarier because there’s no set system for it (should there be?). In the gym it’s do this, this, and this 4x/week for an extended period of time. Or work this many hours while spending this amount of money and I’ll get x result.

It’s blurry. How does one work on himself mentally, spiritually, and emotionally? Journaling, reading, writing. Is it study? I think that satisfies mental curiosity and knowledge which as I type sounds like some gaps that are present in my world. If you understand the world it’s more likely you’ll have a better mental relationship with it. Perhaps spiritually is brutally honest conversation or the implementation of religion in my life. I don’t know. I think it’s something. I just don’t know what.

I think the point of this little reflection is to just simply begin. Just try. Start taking steps with a plan. Adjust, keep walking, keep trying.

Just begin.